I called the lady who is going to turn the 40 or so t-shirts I have boxed up into a quilt. Anyone who knew Tim will remember his love for a good comfy t-shirt, and he was most comfortable in one. He had work ones, Disney ones, the beer ones (aka free ones), the volunteer event crew ones, and concert/theatre ones from our trips and adventures. He also had one that pre-dated me - his Leahy one. Yes, that is not a typo. A Leahy one. Its tattered, it has holes, its faded, and it will be at the centre of the quilt. I thought I was.ready to have them be carefully crafted into this King sized quilt. I am not so sure anymore. If they get cut up I can't snuggle into them ever again. When I have a meltdown and want to feel his arms around me and get lost in the smell of him I can't. But then again that's the point of the quilt. So I can wherever or whenever I can have him around. I can remember the places we went, the events we got to see, and the amazing times we had spread over our 7 years. Am I ready - no I never will be ready. But I think its time. I meet her next week to talk about patterns, fabrics, and styles. We should have been decorating our house and picking fabrics for our drapes. Nope I am not ready for this. But its here and I have to face it. He is never going to walk in our front door and hold me in his arms. I will have to be content with wrapping his favourite things around me, closing my eyes, and feeling his breath on my neck. Forever.